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Understanding and forgiving blackheads. Ew. Such a visual.

But honestly. Beautiful. And also, Word.

I especially liked:

"Stop trying to piss me off! It won't work! I AM A FUCKING FAIRY GODDESS, DO YOU HEAR ME? BECAUSE I DO NOT HEAR YOU! LA LA LA LA LA! THE UNICORNS ARE SINGING! I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY MAGIC ICE CREAM STABLE FULL OF SINGING UNICORNS"

I am so there!

Thank you...what a wonderful trip you lead the reader on in this hyper-descriptive ride.

Very creative and fun.

First time poster!

-Kendall

I used to eat antibacterial, non-melting ice cream all the time! It came in a neat tube that some silly bastard labeled “toothpaste”. Mmm mint.

antibacterial ice cream? ewww. ice cream should never do anything healthy for you. that's like, a contradiction in terms.

If it were truly a happy kingdom, I'd rather the vanquished were wished away with a raspberry scent, rather than the sulphurous odor of flatus.

That reminds me of my unfortunate descision to compete in the 21 scoop ice cream orgy last week with my friends. Ever puked Superman Ice cream? No good.

You guys, you're not being very serious about my magic ice cream tower! If you want a return invite, I suggest you respect my fairy goddess powers. Otherwise, it's only bacterial ice cream for you from now on.

(Hi, Kendall! Nice to meet you!)

Yay! Frozen yogurt! Mmm... chocolate and lactobacillus.

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