Look, lady, you're cute and talented and funny and all those things I like in a chick, but there's only room for one of us at this audition today, and I'm afraid it's going to be...you.
Sorry babe -- that's just the way life goes sometimes.
So let me tell you, Miss Smarty-Person, how it's gonna be: You are going to get up from that chair, stretch your legs, and then use them to kick my ass at this audition, and when you're done, you're gonna come back here to the reception area, and you're gonna kick my ass at kicking my ass.
Got it?
You will take me down, Kyria Abrahams! You threatened to "break my leg," or something along those lines; now you have the psychological edge on me! Ha ha ha ha ha, is what I would say if I were you, instead of me! You pity me!
Well, never fear, "Ms."* Abrahams. Surely, one or neither of us will prevail, and win this coveted part. And that one or neither of us won't be me!
Moo hoo hoo hoo hah!
(PS: If they do wind up giving it to somebody else, I say we team up and go Harding on them. TONYA Harding, that is -- not Warren G. Harding. Which would entail, what, enforcing Prohibition on them?)
(* said really sarcastically, like, "Mizzzzzz.")
Audition? What audition were you on? My mon finally got my cd yesterday, and she only lives two hours away. I hope you'll get it soon.
Posted by: Dana | Oct 19, 2005 at 10:50 AM
NO! Stop kicking her! Stop with the kicking!
Posted by: J. Scurvthwaite Brathmonte IV | Oct 19, 2005 at 12:08 PM
My opponent is full of the devil's drink and black lies!
Posted by: Mizzz. Kyria Abrahams | Oct 19, 2005 at 04:50 PM
Yeah Warren G. kept the Whitehouse pretty well stocked with bootleg during prohibition, so I don't think that'd be it. Going Harding on someone would probably entail letting your cabinet run the country for two years and then croaking before anyone found out about your scandals.
Posted by: Kevin | Oct 19, 2005 at 05:57 PM
Except I keep confusing him with the Warren G. who dueted with Nate Dogg on "Regulators."
"Sixteen in the clip and one in the hole,
Nate Dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold.
Now they fussin' and yellin', it's a tad too late,
Warren G. and Nate had to regulate."
Great song -- classic background sample from Michael McDonald's "I Keep Forgetting."
Anyway, Kyria still wins.
Posted by: girlbomb | Oct 19, 2005 at 10:48 PM
Warren G. Harding was a rap artist? Isn't there some sort of amendment that covers that?
Posted by: Nils | Oct 21, 2005 at 08:00 PM