I've been all pissed off at myself lately because I haven't been able to blog -- not for lack of wanting to, or for lack of trying -- every day after I finish my "real" work, I spend about 45 minutes trying to come up with a blog post, and then I always wind up chucking it, because I don't like it or it's too personal or it never gelled or whatever. The problem is, I am starting to resent my lack of privacy, which is something that I continue to perpetuate through maintaining an online presence, which is ridiculous -- if I don't like it, I can always stop. So I seem to have stopped.
Which, when I look at my referral stats, doesn't seem to matter much to most of my audience, as most of my audience still finds me by searching for things "pee hole" or "fuck pee" or "peed my knickers" -- that's a big one -- I'm huge in the UK pee freak scene. Only in the past six months has "Janice Erlbaum" slipped into my top three referral stats, and my most frequently visited posts are still the one about me peeing on the 4 train, the one about ground zero, the one about feminist men, and the one about peasant skirts.
The fucking peasant skirt post! Which I wrote in 2005! In between going up to the Bronx to visit Sam at the hospital -- that's how many millions of years ago I wrote this stupid post about how every chick in the city decided to run out in the same week and buy a goddamn peasant skirt, and how unflattering I found them. And every single day, people find my site by searching for "peasant skirt." And some of them still feel inspired to comment. As "that one chick" did on Friday; her comment reads as follows:
"LMAO!! The random rants of a ladie who doesn't like what women wear. I'm sorry, but aren't we supposed to worry about what the men think? Unless you are a lesbian...are you a lesbian Janice? I, myself, don't wear peasant skirts, but if any of you ladies want to wear a peasant skirt go for it. Janice, I'm sure, is just tired of seeing women who can pull of an outfit she can't. Peasant skirts have their place, just as Janice belongs on the internet with her random blogs about women's fashion."
Now, come on, ladie. I know you're too busy worrying about what the men think to pay any attention to things like, you know, satiric tone, but cut me a break. I'm just a sad ugly old broad who can't pull off cute fashions, randomly blogging on the internet where I belong -- why'd you have to go and out me as a lesbian? It's such a shameful insult, to be called a lesbian -- I nearly cried, the first ninety nine million times I was accused of that over in the feminist men thread. And how am I supposed to explain this to my gay husband Bill?
Yeah. So it's likely that I will never blog again, because my emotional wounds are too deep, after having been put in my place like that. Also, I'll be appearing tonight at Steph Sabelli's amazing show, which starts at 9pm at 94 St. Marks Place between First Ave. and Ave. A. And, I'm a lesbian. Sorry about that, Shmoo.