« Likes | Main | Helping »

Comments

I'm feeling this stuff about your mother leap off the page. Very compelling.

This is exactly why your book needs to be published very, very soon. Not just for us, your whiny public, but also for you. Like the last two helped you let go of the anchors that held you fast, getting this story out into the world will help you do that as well. Of course, the difference is that the childhood pain you chronicled in the first book isn't a tangible reality anymore -- it's buried in your memory -- and the ghost of Sam is just that.. a ghost, but your mother, as long as she is tied to this Earth will be tied to you as well. It's a huge difference, I understand that, but you are a writer and writers need to purge before they can heal. Eh. You know all this; I just wanted to hold up the mirror so you'd remember when the despair/helplessness gets a little too close.

I think the boundaries, or defining points, between mother and daughter are so incredibly skewed in a situation where a child does not truly experience a maternal presence, that it is impossible to maintain perspective. Particularly without the benefit of the presence of a second parent. And, that last line is positively wrenching.

Silvia's comment re the last line - seconded. Damn.

As someone who went from leaving my mother to her fate to financially and emotionally supporting her in her old age, this post caught me on a deep level. It's strange how the shifting context of my relationship with my parent meant that even a couple decades later, she still has the power to sculpt my circumstances and emotional landscape. We're used to hearing things like "They never stop being your mom" as cliches or empty platitudes. It ultimately rings true, but for some of us it isn't about fluffy support or hallmark moments. It's about the awkward things and the reminder of all the things that didn't happen and probably never will.

William Carlos Williams described this kind of relationship nearly eighty years ago in a poem called "Eve." I really think you'd like it.

http://flouri.shyou.org/wikianthology/eve

The comments to this entry are closed.