Two enormous gifts came last week, one in the form of an email, one via the phone. Both from young women, both extraordinary, both with messages of hope and understanding. I am so grateful for what the world offers us in the way of love, empathy, compassion, imagination, camaraderie; I am so grateful to be alive and able to give and to receive. I usually hate it when people talk about blessings; they sound so smug, like, "Shucks, I guess the Lord just loves me a little bit better than He does you, cause I'm bley-ust!" But I'm realizing that blessings have nothing to do with "the Lord," that when people say "bless you," even when they're saying "God bless you," what they really mean is "I bless you." They mean, "I ask [God-as-I-understand-God] to bless you." Or, "I don't have any power over anything, but if I did, I'd like to remind the universe that you're worthy of its favorable attention." For whatever that's worth, which turns out to be everything.
People are the ones who bless each other. We're the ones who say it when you sneeze, or when you almost lose your step, or when you perform some generous or kind act, and if you really fuck up we'll up the ante and bless your heart. I say it to you, you say it to me, or we demonstrate it in some way -- I sanction this act of yours, I note your consideration of me; look at us, doing the thing. We wish each other the best fortune, the most favorable outcome; we believe that such a fate is possible, if only briefly.
To any and all readers, commenters, people who have emailed me, and the inspiring, thoughtful friends I've made both on and offline -- I am blessed to know you. Every day I receive affirmation from you that you want me to thrive,* and if you know me, you know how much I wish this for you.** You send me explicit and implicit blessings; I want to send you blessings in return. When I say bless you, I mean "go, you." When I say bless you, I mean "I am grateful for you." When I say bless you, I mean, "I want you to be protected from harm." When I say bless you, I mean "I thank life for allowing me you." When I say bless you, I mean "thank you."
I am of as limited means as anybody. My blessing is nothing but a bunch of hot air, the breath you blow at your birthday candles bearing the inevitable wish. But I send it anyway.
Bless you...
and good night!
( * Yes, even the negative commenters.)
( * Yes. Even the negative commenters.)
"Bless you" is another way of saying "I love you and I'm glad you're in my life." It isn't really about God or religion. It's more about our connectiveness as people.
Posted by: Laura Reynolds | Dec 26, 2010 at 04:37 PM
JAHNAHS AH FAHND YAH!!!
Posted by: Éireann | Dec 26, 2010 at 05:17 PM
You have expressed perfectly -- as always -- the gratitude I also feel in knowing you. I often stop myself to gaze in awe over the fact that we have forged this friendship. I never would have imagined when I bought that first book (first printing, yo!) that I would count you amongst the most intimate of my friends, they being those with whom I trust my deepest, darkest thoughts.
I am grateful to you and for you each and every single day. May the year of the rabbit -- which, ironically, is also the feature attire on the cover of that first printing -- be as wonderful as your most desired dreams.
Posted by: Kirsten | Dec 26, 2010 at 08:44 PM
Bless you right back, from the bottom of my heart.
Thanks for lunch, thanks for sharing, thanks for listening, and wow--you will always be the second person EVER to see *the* photos :) :) :) :)
You're a beautiful person, inside and out.
PS Stay warm! I think we got out just in time....though I would have loved to see the snow!
Posted by: Lasty | Dec 27, 2010 at 12:41 AM
In the south, saying "bless you" has a far more insidious significance, one of which I was completely unaware.
But I remain a damn yankee and I calls 'em as I sees 'em and if someone says bless you, regardless of their unkind intentions, I take it all at face value.
Stay where you are. It's a good place. And, as Lasty said, stay warm. Brrrr . . . even we had snow on Christmas. Crazy!
Posted by: Satia | Dec 27, 2010 at 04:54 AM
I love what you wrote. I don't think we tell people enough that we're grateful they are in our lives. To me gratitude is a great anecdote for the blues. I can be bummed that I only got one holiday gift or I can be happy that I got a gift. I choose happiness.
BTW-- I thought "bless you" was something folks said when others sneeze?
Posted by: amy f. | Dec 31, 2010 at 02:11 PM
Love this. And consider you a blessing in my life -
Posted by: nathalie | Jan 05, 2011 at 05:41 PM