Friends, if you know anything about me, it's that I'm super duper hip and cool. Besides using words like "super duper" and "hip" and "cool," you can tell I'm hip and cool because I know about all the most hip and cool music, such as that made by my new favorite band, the Suspicious Packages. As a matter of fact, they've been referred to as "hipsters" themselves. I don't know what that is, but I want to be one too!
Let's learn more about the Suspicious Packages, shall we?
So are you two related, or a couple, or both, or what?
Delia: Devin and I are lovers, partners, boyfriend/girlfriend, whatever bourgeois term you feel most comfortable with. So no, we are not related. (To Devin) Although, it would be kind of cool to be the Williamsburg version of Donny and Marie. Devin is a little alt-country, I’m a little bit pop-rock and roll.
Devin: Nice. I think someone found our next cover! And our next role-playing scenario.
How did you decide to start working together?
Delia: Well, when we started dating we discovered that we both share an ironic love and respect for pop music. I mean, irony is my middle name. Seriously, I legally changed it to Irony. It used to be Susan.
Devin: Your name is not Susan. Anybody...?
Delia: Wow, nice obscure Whitnet Houston reference babe.
Devin: Aside from making passionate love, making music together is the most intimate and intense bond two people can share. We do both with fervor and panache.
How do you choose the songs you interpret, and who does the arranging?
Delia: When it comes to choosing songs, it’s definitely a collaborative effort. If I hear a song that is effing deck, I tell Devin and vice versa. Sometimes it doesn’t work out. (To Devin) Remember that klezmer version of November Rain we tried? Oy, that was effing traif. I do most of the arranging, because I’m the guitarist. Devin is a sick auxiliary percussionist though. Have you seen his sexy ass with an egg shaker?
Devin: Thanks, babe. I'm gonna shake your eggs later. When we first started performing together, there was an almost endless supply of pop music material at our fingertips. It was just a matter of finding the songs that were the most ironic to cover. Unfortunately since the advent of that ishtar karaoke tripe called "Glee," our choices are more limited. We'd rather be caught shopping at The Gap than have people think we were copying "Glee." "Glee" is so midtown. When we find the right song, though, it's effing magic...kismet, really. Delia usually works out the arrangement...I come up with a lot of the harmonies. I was briefly a voice major at Oberlin, so you know, it's kind of my thing.
Do you see yourselves as a "cover band," or is that a label you eschew?
Devin: I consider us "pop music re-interpreters."
Delia: As a couple we find the process of writing our own material too emotionally draining. One time Devin wrote a song inspired by those Sarah McClauglin ASPCA commercials. You try rhyming “mutilated puppies” with something. He was really depressed.
Devin: That was a dark period.
What do you do when there's an artistic conflict between you? A personal conflict?
Delia: Basically, we handle both the same way. I lock myself in the bathroom, and scream “you are just like my fucking fathers," while Devin drinks his weight in Makers Mark and drunkenly rides his fixie through Bushwick. It seems to work for us.
Devin: We've yet to encounter a problem that bourbon and an angry shag can't cure.
So Devin, you're a male feminist. How does that work?
Devin: Well, before my dad came out of the closet and left my mom and the coven back in St. Paul, I was exposed to a lot of strong Wiccan women and feminine energy. I was in tune with the Goddess long before I flicked my willie. Plus, let's be honest: women run the world, so I figure if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Delia, are you a feminist too? Or are you a heinous, disgusting gender traitor?
Delia: I was raised by two gay men. They worshipped strong women. Literally, we had a small alter dedicated to Cher in our rec room. I don’t think I had any other option than to be a feminist. How many other 8 year olds do you know were dressed as Emma Goldman for Halloween?
What are your other hobbies and interests?
Delia: I enjoy baking vegan cupcakes. Regular cupcakes are filled with too much whimsy and preservatives. Right now, I’m into knitting. All the feminist mags said it was hot, so…Oh! and I’m creating a line of hand knitted stroller cozies to market to all the lesbian moms in Park Slope. It’s called Gaybee Steps. Look for it on Etsy.
Devin: I spend most of my time following Delia around and watching her do her various activities. When she gets sick of me and sends me away, I like to ride my fixie to the organic coffee shop and pretend to write in my journal. I also enjoy spending time grooming my beard...oh, and tending to our plot in the community garden. My azaleas have really been thriving.
I heard you were supposed to play at Otto's Shrunken Head, and then the place burned down. How much did that suck?
Devin: We were most disappointed for our fans. They deserve to enjoy a flaming drink served in a fishbowl while listening to our deck tunes.
Delia: At first, I thought we were being sabotaged by our rival band, “The Misfits." Those tassels and their evil manager Eric are always trying to get a hold of my magical earrings.
Devin: Dels, I think that is actually the plot to the cartoon Jem.
Delia: I’m sorry, I have no idea what you are talking about. Anyway, I think it turned out to be accidental. They are back in business now, which is deck.
What's next for you?