"Feminist Men": Oxymorons, or Simply Morons?

Lately, there's been a spate of "male feminists" posting at the BBs where I lurk. At first I saw them and I thought, great! I mean, I like feminists, and I like men, so you'd think I'd love this purported hybrid of the two. And yet, no, not so much, not so much at all.

As a matter of fact, it's caused me to realize that most of the men I've personally known who have made a huge hairy point of identifying as feminists have been either date rapists, mom fetishists, porn addicts, or bear daddies inflicting their frustrated pseudopaternal tendencies on women. They are some of the most passive-aggressive, patronizing, out-dishing without it-taking twerps on the planet, and they are poisoning the women's movement from the inside by sapping the hell out of everyone's goddamn energy.

Example: "Pud" is a married thirtysomething man who joins a feminist bulletin board and starts posting long, ingratiating, groveling, weasely rants against the evils of plastic surgery, singing instead of the glory of the small, natural breast. Feminists soon smell a tit freak, and tell him to go blow. He is affronted, telling the feminists that they are doing their movement great harm by denying him membership -- he is wounded! What kind of humanist collective bars members on the basis of sex? Sexist ones! And thereby the feminists are sexist, and Pud is the sole champion of women's rights left on the planet, goddess bless him!

Example Two: Edgy sexy artsy bisexual left-wing guy is always suggestive and provocative, always posting impassioned essays on Art and Politics, and especially Feminism. He talks about the pro-choice rallies and political events he's attended, but he doesn't mention that he went for the chicks. He likes to tell people what feminism does and doesn't mean -- to him, feminism is mostly about "women's freedom to express themselves sexually without being shamed or oppressed by other feminists." Id est: porn, threesomes, and you taking the pill. He'll argue for sex-positive feminism all day long, putting down other feminists for being "patronizing, infantilizing, and patriarchal." PS: He's only pretending to be bisexual.

Example Three: Mister Marxist is more marxist than you! While you are talking about cute shoes in the "feminist" lounge, he is busy pedaling an exercise bike in his dank basement in order to power a hand-cobbled CPU that allows him to further the struggle of the Black and the Poor and the Undertrodden through the relentless sharing of information -- specifically, the information that everything about society and everyone in it is racist and classist and not very Marxist at fucking all! So why are you bitches of privilege just sitting there perpetuating gender stereotypes and not smashing the KKKorporation and meanwhile using paper napkins which are killing Mister Marxist's soul a little bit more every day?

And oh, I could go on all night, detailing examples of the petty, the wheedly, the divisive, the pompous, the attention-hogging, the knowing-it-all, the sexually predatory...ah, good times...but instead, let's post a handy checklist for the symptoms of Male Feminism.

1. Name drops bell hooks (making sure to drop the caps), or has sig quote by Rigoberta Menchu. Will suggest that you read such and such essay by such and such feminist before you discuss the topic at hand further, as it's a "must read."

2. Feigns sympathy for the rigors of the menstrual cycle. "Oh, cramps, bummer; I getcha, sister. By the way, most men are really put off by talking about cramps, but not me, I'm used to your crazy gross moon blood vagina ritual, because I'm evolved."

3. Is smarter than you, and more "rational" (i.e., not ruled by terrifying and psychotic mood swings), but doesn't hold that against you. Understands that women are more "emotional" than men, and therefore susceptible to "simple misinterpretation." Smirks, smarms, provokes, and blathers until you go crazy, then calls you crazy.

4. Loves porn, even if he pretends to hate it. As a matter of fact, the more he professes to hate it, the more hardcore and specific the porn is.

Now, I'm not saying that every man who believes in the equality of the importance of women and men is secretly a douche; I'm not saying that at all. I'm lucky enough to be domestically partnered to a guy who does half the housework, yields 50 percent of the remote, rallies and marches with me, and writes the appropriate outraged emails to Congress when needed. But he doesn't go online and start talking about the reverse gender oppression of Mary Daly, or how Dworkinites have ruined anal sex. Thank the goddess. And I'm not trying to stereotype anyone, because that would be socially wrong, and as a feminist, I am against social wrongness. I'm sure there are some wonderful male feminists out there; I can't wait to meet them, myself. Because the ones I know are just bitches.

Comments

[Kyria]

I guess saying you don't like porn is supposed to make a man appear "sensitive". But I imagine these men sitting in front of a hot picture of a beautiful woman, holding their limp, saggy penis and whining, "Ewwwwwe!"* This is extremely creepy.

*He's also scratching hives on his forearm.

[Éireann]

THAT IS SO COMPLETELY TRUE. I would like to copy that, word for fucking WORD and hand it out at the next Feminist Students United meeting, which is mostly run entirely by two feminist MEN, one of whom is Example 3 and one of whom is a (balding) Example 2. IT DRIVES ME INSAAAAAAAAANNNNNNE. That is why I rarely go to meetings, and only receive their emails via the listserv, wherein they bitch about the lack of participation in the club, and lack of attendence at meetings at their mother's homes.

[Jennifer Glick]

They're just twats. Manipulative, idiotic, passive agressive twats. Not so far away from the icky hipster boyfriend. They both should be shunned.

I married a man that likes football, baseball and musical theatre. Does that make me a lesbian?

[Jennifer Glick]

A real feminist man doesn't have to go on line or lead a group of women who don't want to date him to prove it.

[amy]

Some things are immune to the passing of time. I remember some of those guys from Columbia, MO, circa 1986.

[Melissa]

I couldn't finish reading this post because when I got to the words "Edgy sexy artsy bisexual left-wing guy" I threw up a little inside my mouth.

[Bill Scurry]

This is awesome.

[kat]

I threw up in my mouth when I get to edgy bisexual artsy left wing guy too.

Janice-you are so insightful. i love you.

[RoseViolet]

Utter perfection. They should publish that in the next Bust ... or in the next Men We Love issue for all those assholes who pick it up just to find out how to get into our panties. "Let this be a warning: we're on to you."

I married a sweet man who I just happened to meet on a feminist website, but who doesn't feel comfortable calling himself a feminist for various reasons. So, yes, not *all* of the males are so bad. But the bad ones? Truly horrifying. Especially Example #2.

[ae]

Haha! Wonderful. #3 is perfect, and #4 too true.

[Lunasol]

this made me laugh so hard i practically spit water out of my nose.

sadly, i've known way too many of these guys. now, whenever i hear a guy identify himself as a feminist, i keep my distance...

[Jym Dyer]

=v= Once upon a time I subscribed to a "Pro-Feminist Men" listserv, which was itself subscribed to a tenet that men shouldn't refer to ourselves as feminists. You'd think the fellas on that list might be, I dunno, extra sensitive or something, but it didn't take long for some of them to start opining that "no" might mean "yes" in cases of date rape. I was disgusted and left the list.

I don't think labels matter so much as how people act.

[iLLa]

yeah.

this speaks to one of the criticism classes i took. one of the perspectives from which we could choose to evaluate a work was, indeed, feminist. that was *the hardest* perspective to do an essay for.

eireann at pooblog has seen me through almost every phase of the political spectrum and i've got to say, i really don't know where i belong.

i read rush limbaugh's books in high school, but last year i almost got arrested for throwing an abortion protester's sign into the creek.

what i'm trying to say is that i know how *i* feel about most issues, and i'm perpetually surprised that most people don't just see things my way, whatever that is at the moment. 'cos wouldn't that be easier?

[erikka]

Janice, this is brilliant as always. Hope all is well with you!

[Lys]

So, so, so true.

And why do I encounter men with Symptom #3 all. the. damn. time?!

[Julesey]

*claps* Excellent, simply excellent!!

[girlbomb]

Ah, this post brings out the very best of the BUSTies, the cream of the BUSTie crop. It's an honor!

[kittenb]

I loved this. Thanks for writing this down and thanks to fuzzilla for posting it.

[Phil Rose]

Wow! Janice, you rock. Every word is fucking brilliant. I'm afraid type 2s have been at the helm of every movement: beatniks, hippies, anti-war, Marxist, anarchist, probably even anti-slavery. "Free love for all, especially me!" is their battle cry. And I last about 5 seconds talking with a type 3 before I just walk away. They're just tedious. Love you!

[an antifeminist]

I am male

And guess what?

I am the exact reverse of a feminist

You probably won't like men who can actually see past your feministic, spiteful lies and hate-tactics, and prefer gender traitors such as pro-feminist males who pander to your every deluded whim

Feminism is nothing more than a selfish, spiteful ideology that will one day be exposed for what it really is

[Random Name Generator]

Many years ago now, when I was young and mistaken enough to think I was a poet (because I felt soooo much deeper than others and it made service industry work bearable when I had a secret artistic alter-ego) I would go alone to the Nuyorican and read my poem commentaries without the slightest trace of poetmouth. (Hint: It helps to write with meter even if you don't need the couplets.)

I was lucky enough to see poets who lifted the room and dear sister Janice was one of them. I bought her chapbook, Girlbaum, a long time back and just found it. And googled this blog.

It's still great. You're great.

But I digress.

Janice read a poem about a high school sexual encounter that wasn't exactly rape even though it was. About a girl looking to hang who gets taken and used.

I realized I was the man in the poem. Not literally. But close enough that it fucked me up. It was one of the only times I had a literal epiphany. I hurt someone when I was young, dumb and full of come and probably fucked her up in ways I had never thought about. After all, she consented. Right?

I'm the left-wing type. Active. Around. Don't call myself a feminist because that's the "white, middle class" thing. Identity politics, yadda yadda. Did some clinic defense, got macho with the butches in Buffulo. I've even written a few articles and reviews about feminism and porn on the porn=bad tip.

I hate porn (and watch it all the time). True. I've written about that too, though not the watching it all the time (and it is exactly the more hardcore, "specific" kinds). I'm downloading it right now even as I write this.

It's hard, sis. Not my little man, but the shit to negotiate in this life. Not asking for your sympathy -- but considering how hard it is for women to get out from under, how hard again it is for men to be what they hope they can be, or think they should be, but aren't.

I tried to demachify myself to no great effect. I'm a fucking dude at the end of the day and now just try to be pretty upfront, find a woman who appreciates me for what I am and treat her right.

A loud-mouth guy with a good heart who means well, does the dishes most of the time, cooks good enough to impress the parentals, fucks like I've watched porn my whole life and gives the necessary foot massages without pretending like menstrual women aren't, in fact, out of their fucking minds.

I pretty much gave up trying to be Feminist Man because:

1) I was miserable, thinking masculinity was "sexist" - and

2) Women didn't appreciate it. At all. Oh, they wanted to talk about all the decidedly non-feminist guys who were "horrible" enough to fuck.

Like more than a few, I couldn't help but noticing how all my "feminist" sisters just loved going out with guys who were not even TRYING. The more MAN they were, the better the draw. Oh, and a professional income is always appreciated by the "liberated" sisters out there who think poverty is a personal defect. Point being we all got our shizzle.

Frustrating how much we are all exactly what we are.

Can I still appreciate shaved women, all that shit AND actually listen, recognize that every woman isn't waiting to fuck me and that there's a time and place for each?

Well, that's what I came to anyway: treat people like you want to be treated, be up front about what you want and relax. I don't know if that's feminism, but it seems to be working out alright.

Oh, and fuck Mary Daly. That shit is ridiculous. (Dude.)

[girlbomb]

(I wound up writing this comment a few months after posting this, as it started to make its way around the stupid "blogosphere," and I feel like it was being misinterpreted. So here's my fucking clarification, as much as it peeves me to write it:)

First of all, the piece was intended to be comedic, and as such, it is hyperbolic in tone. I was "taking the piss," as they say, and the argument was intentionally overstated, DUH.

Second of all, it's still all fucking true. I don't say that "no man can be a feminist," or "all feminist men suck." I know for a fact that men can be feminists, and that they can be awesome. What I do say in that post is that many of the men I've met who have an overarching need to identify publicly as feminists are doing so for reasons unrelated to real feminism, reasons having more to do with their egos, mommy issues, and sex drives than their politics. That the psychology of men who make a big deal of their feminism -- rather than just living it, as my beloved domestic partner does -- tends to be, in my experience, rather suspect.

That's it. That's all I said. Not that men can't be feminists, or all men this or all men that. Just that a lot of guys who spend a lot of time yammering about feminism online are simultaneously pulling it to another browser window.

But I'm glad my rep as a real man-hating feminist (tm) is spreading. Maybe now I can get on Maury!

[BEG]

--> Smirks, smarms, provokes, and blathers until you go crazy, then calls you crazy.<--
Oh my god. "Feminist" or no...this one's just revelatory of a deep seated hatred of women, whatever they profess on the surface. At least the neanderthals who pat you on the head until you do go crazy are upfront about it...

[Clio Bluestocking]

I knew a "Mr. Marxist." Actually, he was "Professor Marxist," the one who has the red flag of Che Gueverra in his office. Well, he started saying "I am a Sister, too," to prove that he was also "Prof. Uber-Marxist-Feminist." He so disgusted some of us women, including his wife, that we got together, cleaned out the feminine hygeine products aisle at the local drugstore, and gave to him in a very large and flowery gift bag. "Whenever you use any of these products for their intended purpose," we wrote on the card, "you can call yourself a 'Sister.'" He got the point.

So, to address girlbomb's point, this isn't about whether men can or cannot be feminists, it is about feminism being an ideal that run-of-the-mill jerks will use as a pick-up line or as a tool to unleash criticism on women. Men who really support women's rights make themselves known without advertisement.

[lazybratsche]

"--> Smirks, smarms, provokes, and blathers until you go crazy, then calls you crazy.<--
Oh my god. "Feminist" or no...this one's just revelatory of a deep seated hatred of women, whatever they profess on the surface."

I dunno about that... I like to think that I do my best to provoke *everybody* to the point of insanity, regardless of sex. Hell, even to myself sometimes.

[phil jones]

"What I do say in that post is that many of the men I've met who have an overarching need to identify publicly as feminists are doing so for reasons unrelated to real feminism, reasons having more to do with their egos, mommy issues, and sex drives than their politics. That the psychology of men who make a big deal of their feminism -- rather than just living it, as my beloved domestic partner does -- tends to be, in my experience, rather suspect."

Hmmm. Do you think that men have more of a tendency towards ulterior / psychological motives for identifying publicly with political positions than women do?

[jeffliveshere]

How about spotting the 'fake' male feminists by noting that, while any of them may make a big, hairy deal about being feminists, only the ones who back up the words with deeds are real allies?

I can't find trackback stuff on this site, but went ahead and put more ruminations over here:
http://feministallies.blogspot.com/2006/06/linky-goodness-on-how-to-spot-faux.html

[Anonymous]

I'm keeping anonymous so that I don't fall into these categories. I'm a man though and am sorry about all of this. I fail all the time at being equal towards women and would never describe myself as a feminist because I've never succeeeded in doing so. Maybe one way of looking at it is that men who proclaim themselves feminists are proclaiming that they have succeeded in treating women equally- those who don't aren't claiming that they have succeeded but should definitely try and as well support feminist causes. This is confused and not well written, by the way in response to one of your comments, I definitely consider myself inferior to every woman I meet because I coexist with a privileged system but I'm going to try to do better. Thanks and sorry.

[Patrick]

Feminism is anti-male female supremacy. They do not favor equality. If they did, women would be eligible for selective service, and they would have already been on the front lines in a war. They would have been in dangerous jobs,just like men.Most of the violence in the world has been against men, not against women and children. However, women abuse children at higher rates than men, so explain that. But go ahead, continue your stereotype of the testerone-tinged “unfairly favored” men. I don’t make much money, and don’t know many men that do. So there. There is no governor’s commission on men. Here are some quick stats: men on average,die seven years earlier than women. Men make up 49% of the population, maybe it is less now. Most of the world’s violence has been against men, not women. Men make up 85% of the homeless, they are a minority of college enrollment, at least 40% in some places. Also, men were sent to war to die, the only ones eligible for selective service,they are the overwhelming majority of workplace deaths. In society, Men are held responsible for their actions, women are not. men have responsiblities, women only have rights.Men,in their roles as policemen, and firemen have stupidly died to protect many women, and children, who generally, would never protect men that same way if the roles were reversed. men invented technology, homes, planes, cars, societies, otherwise we would all still be living in caves. So I would say to anyone who thinks men as a group are holding them down: if I am building someone a luxury house,and cell phones,I am not oppressing them!By the way, you didn’t earn your economic privilege and supremacy by “fighting hard” for them. Men gave these to you freely. If they did not, you would not have them. Without men existing, you would be living in a cave in the middle of nowhere, so if you don’t like White men’s accomplishments, go enjoy your CAVE! If you don’t like the historically cruel treatment of black Americans I’d be honest and go live in another country instead of being a total hypocrite, and living off men’s hard work and the work of the African slaves, and not giving anything back of equal value, like inventing something. If you don’t like the taking of Native Americans’ land, then leave the U.S. and stop living off their demise.Also,It is not honorable to work at a cushy job that men created for you, and then say that men denied women basic rights! You are pampered if you work at a basic job, while men worked in the coal mines, and died in workplace injuries. Also, Patriarchy is not evil, it is only men running these countries that has invented the things that make your life better. Men as a group were not selfish, women are. You don’t use someone’s inventions: houses, telephones, businesses,etc, and call the other pertson selfish, without giving anything back. If anything, these men were stupid for being kind, and favoring you over them. I’d rather be washing dishes, and even vacuuming, which roles women complain about, rather than dying in dumb wars! There is no comparison!… Talk about ungrateful, and pampered. If a magic wand could turn women into men, I could only imagine what they could still complain about, if they were only being consistent: You mean all the blame is now mine! I must sacrifice myself for others from now on, I am not to be protected , but to protect others! I’m being asked to fight and die for my country! Terrible! And men must listen to them complain about being “objectified” Yikes! We should all be so lucky. What a joke intellectually this country has become.Also, when Feminists say that if SOME men were not evil, there would be no need for feminism is a little like the Klan saying that if some non-whites did not go on welfare, drugs and shoot people, there would no need for racism. So Feminists, enjoy your racist and sexist exploitation of men. We men are the ones sacrificing. We are the real “second sex”, not women. Bye-Bye. Feel free to post a reply.

[nohope]

I wrote a point by point rebutle but ran out of time an energy to refute each unsubstatiated claim.

so here is a link to women inventers

http://inventors.about.com/library/blwomeninventors.htm

please check out each one, and consider were men might be with out these women... such as Madame Curie who discovered radium and furthered x-ray technology or Mary Anderson who patented the windshield wiper in 1905.

[turmeric]

I liked this essay a lot. I was wondering if you could come up with some short eloquent sobriquet to describe me? I used to post on ms. magazine boards before they got shut down so I thought someone might remember me.

BTW whatever happened to 'jihada'?

[belledame222]

Sing is, sister.

and kyria: ahahaha

[Winter]

Generally I think I've been quite lucky in my dealings with feminist identified men, but I have come across some showing the symptoms you describe. I think the best one was a guy who volunteered to help at a production of the Vagina Monologues. After a while, people discovered that he'd only joined in the hope that the women would shag him because he said he was a feminist. They didn't.

We've had one or two men show interest in our feminist group, but they haven't lasted.

[belledame222]

Actual quote by some dude:

"I'm more feminist than most women I know."

'course, he was a grade-A asshat in most other regards as well, so it's not like this came as a huge shocker or anything; still: ahahaha.

[belledame222]

I have another subcategory, although it may also just be a corollary/hybrid of #1 and #4:

the born-again radfem. he once was a sexist pig, a porn addict, a rapist! self-declared! but has now seen the error of his ways, praise Dworkin! pay no attention to the spittle running down his chin, it just means he's passionate, bless him.

[Teunis]

I like that checklist. Good warning examples - those are the people that ruin it for everyone.

Jennifer Glick (above) caught it right: "A real feminist man doesn't have to go on line or lead a group of women who don't want to date him to prove it."

when sexual relations no longer gets in the way of living - we will all have become more mature. What someone is should matter nothing to who they are. until then try not to treat others as we've been treated and be careful (self defense). As at the beginning of this message - that checklist and those warning examples are good.

[hexy]

There's just something about the word "smirk" that sums up the dickhead "more feminist than thou" types.

Thanks for this. It made me both laugh and groan.

I found this interesting essay in usenet:
-------------------------------
Male Feminists, Betrayal, and The Race for High Moral Ground

I was in a men's group for a couple of years in the late nineties. The
group grew and shrank and went through several incarnations with only
three of us at the core. All of the men who passed through the group
were from different walks of life, different outlooks, and had different
needs.

In my last weeks with this group we had restarted with a new group of
men on a new night in a new location. Getting to know new people in
these groups is always an awkward process. One night one of the new guys
was talking about a friend of his who had lots of money and a big house,
and admitted that as much as he tried not to be, he was jealous of his
friend's success. Another fellow in the group looked at him
uncomprehendingly and said, "Why should you be jealous? I don't
understand." The poor fellow with the rich friend then tried to talk us
through his feelings about his mediocre success and trying to be happy
with what he had while the second fellow continued to feign surprise
that he should be covetous of something so trivial as a mansion and a
fat bank account. The second fellow annoyed me to no end.

It annoyed me that he was being disingenuous. He knew perfectly well
what the first fellow was talking about, at least he did if he had an
ounce of sense. Being jealous of another's success is a basic human
experience. True, it's not a particularly noble or high-minded emotion;
if you're Catholic then it's even a sin. However, it's familiar: even in
the unlikely case that you've never experienced it yourself, you've
known someone else who has. What this guy was doing was claiming the
high moral ground. By pretending not to understand jealousy, he was
setting himself up to seem purer and wiser than the guy who was spilling
his guts. He wasn't purer and wiser, of course: he was simply lying,
trying to make himself look good while at the same time making the first
fellow, who was being painfully honest, look like an idiot. To me this
was a betrayal of the group by one man who wanted to pump himself up at
others' expense.

For this same reason I have trouble tolerating male feminists. Women
feminists I can understand: self-interest is also a common human
emotion, even if it is a base one. On the other hand, men who parrot
feminist dogma make me crazy. I suppose that it is possible to become so
steeped in propaganda that you can see neither others' pain nor your
own—willful blindness is not exactly rare—but I often sense ulterior
motives in male feminists' vociferous defense of powerful women against
cowering men.

There is a lot to gain from this kind of behaviour, but none of it is
particularly admirable.

Probably the most important reward is the affirmation of women. Despite
feminism's endless whining that women have no power, women have enormous
emotional power over most men. You can believe what you like about
violent, abusive men, but you must admit that most ordinary, "nice guys"
are terrified of getting on a woman's bad side and, if they should
offend a woman, would do pretty much anything to get back in her good
books. If you believe that women's scorn and shame are powerful weapons,
then there's a pretty clear dynamic at work in the male feminist: defend
women at all times, even their most outrageous actions, and women will
judge you a fine specimen of manhood; criticize women in any way and
they will heap scorn on you. For a weak man in need of female
affirmation, there isn't much of a choice here.

Another important gain is the feeling of smug superiority involved in
taking the high moral ground. A few men and women have made tremendous
sacrifices in order to make the world a better place and have the right
to look at how others live and judge them. Mother Theresa is an example
of this; Patricia Ireland is not. Lucky for us, it's usually these
people who sacrifice the most who do not then dangle their
self-sacrifice in front of our faces. Rather, there are whose who think
they deserve the high moral ground but in fact only imagine themselves
superior. This second group is much larger than the first, and there are
rather more women in this category than men. Women seem to assume that
they are morally purer than men by accident of birth. Men try to become
more morally pure by doing what my compatriot did and bluffing their way
through it, slamming other men in the process. The male feminist can
look down on his male brethren by taking the "correct" (as defined by
women) side of every argument, and denying that he feels any resentment
or ambivalence toward women, or any kinship with other men.

These are the men who smile little knowing smiles to themselves while
you're trying to explain why you don't think that affirmative action is
fair. These are the men who shatter your discussion on child custody and
make you feel like shit by asking, wide-eyed, why anyone would
conscience separating a loving mother from her children. These are the
men who laugh at man-bashing jokes but then cluck their tongues about
"stupid blonde" jokes. These are the men who, when forced to confront
their hypocrisy, loudly proclaim that they are against all
discrimination and prejudice in all of their forms, and then go back to
exactly what they were saying before... after you leave. These are the
men who counter confusion, honest objection, and pain with smug,
self-satisfied, pat answers for all of life's problems. I know. I used
to be one of them.

Now, there are men who agree with feminism because they've carefully
considered its implications. You can tell these apart from the fakers by
their willingness to disagree with the more objectionable claims of
radical feminists and their ability to see that in some ways men receive
a raw deal. One can argue with these people and get somewhere. Arguing
with the male feminist sycophant is a waste of time. He's chosen his
side in the debate. He's decided to cast his lot with the women in hopes
of continued affirmation and vicarious superiority, and nothing I can
offer him is likely to change his mind. Since he's probably lying to
himself as well as the rest of the world, logic and honesty are unlikely
to have much impact. So, I simply shake my head and go to look for men
who have the balls to be honest. Even if they disagree with me, honest
men can accept and acknowledge honest criticism.
http://www.themenscenter.com/busterb/male.htm

--------------------------------------------------------------------

[John D.]

I was once approached by a feminist who was recruiting people for a feminist group. I just looked at her with blatant confusion, as though she had confused me for a woman - not out of disrespect, but because I didn't know what to say. After an awkward silence, she reassured me that there were men in the feminist group. (I wonder how many of those men were like those described in your blog entry...)

Now I'm all in favor of equal rights, opportunities, etc., and I'm not just saying that to get into anyone's panties. However, I feel *extremely* uncomfortable in donning the feminist label.

I suspect that this discomfort comes from the image of a man who brandishes such a label as a badge of honor, which Jennifer Glick summed up perfectly. When I picture a such a fist-pounding, self-proclaimed "feminist man", I automatically picture some patronizing holier-than-thou suck-up, and I had this perception long before I read your article. (That's not to say that I accuse all feminist men of wearing a guise of insincere morality, but I imagine most of the noisy ones do.)

I don't want to be that. I just want to be a regular Joe who, if asked for his opinion, will quietly voice a predilection toward what I deem most fair. That's why I didn't join the feminist group.

If you're waiting for my point, you'll be waiting a while, because there isn't one. I just wanted to share this mildly amusing anecdote.

[i know]

Oh my god. Thank you. Thank you. There is a boy in my feminist class who fits the "passive aggressive twerp" definition. He wears shirts denouncing violence towards women, has shitty ideas in class so he gets picked on, and takes it out on the females who the teacher actually likes as soon as she has us divide into groups. Patronizing, infantilizing, doesn't even begin to describe it, he will "assign" us our roles and talk in this little whiny voice the entire time, not listen to any girls ideas, redirect attention away from the pages she points out and direct it right away to the one he wants to talk about (hint- nothing is there ) all while assuming this little whiny voice and patronizingly nodding his head when a girl talks. Well, how about instead of wearing your t-shirts you just don't get all passive aggressive and take out your angst on not being the teachers pet on the rest of us as soon as you get us alone and the teacher isn't there? That's aggression too. Again, feminist men, great, but if you have to wear the t-shirt, I'm always going to wonder, because you're probably that guy who only likes women he can lead and talk down to and USE. PS- I am going to study SO hard in that class and use my position as teacher's pet to WIPE THE FLOOR with him.

You think too much of yourself...why don't you just shut up and do something productive. I'm sure that you could find something better to think about. Good luck with that!

[Der Gregor]

I am a male in the movement for about 25 years. While a lot of the examples you mention are spot on, and maybe paint a good picture of
most 'male feminists", i think that your post was well, dismissive of those of us who are serious about the movement, aren't pervs, and have been in it in some cases for as long as you have been alive.. You mention your significant other as an exeption, Hmmmm.

It's hard to critique a feminist woman in a public forum, but i just feel that you could have written this differently. Without undoing male gender, we are in trouble.that means that there should be an open door to those born male that are seeking the same kind of change that feminist women want. The title of your post, "oximoron or just moron" is a bit off kilter as the rest of the post is. I hate all those types too, but even if they are 95% of the self identified "feminist males" , what about the others, and doesn't that 5% mean that there is hope that that percentage can change?

What about Robert Jensen/ what about John Stoltenberg, what about me, are you saying I am a moron for having allegiance to my sisters?

My tak you could have said what you did in a way that did not come off as practically essentialist.

[Der Gregor]

Answering BEG

(I realize that I am answering posts that are a year old)

"So, to address girlbomb's point, this isn't about whether men can or cannot be feminists, it is about feminism being an ideal that run-of-the-mill jerks will use as a pick-up line or as a tool to unleash criticism on women. Men who really support women's rights make themselves known without advertisement."

making themselves known without advertisement may not hel us to find *other* males who may be interested in the movement.
part of the prob with "feminist men" on BBs is that they take a lot of valuable time away from feminists always expounding or asking questions. if feminist males can find each other, by letting themselves be known we can take that burden from women in outreach education, etc. also, and this is something that *I* fid creepy, most feminist males dont want to be feminists around other males, its a show in my view, put on for women. Pushing these guys to work with other men may be a good approach. To that end, yes we may have to advertise.

[Squigly Figly]

Yes, feminist men are pieces of crap. They are condescending little brown nosers.

But then again, it sounds like you don't like a man who is manly OR feminist so fuck you too.

You probably drove them to it.

[michael savell]

Feminism started off as a movement for equality and fairness.Men stood shoulder to shoulder with you while you achieved a fair equitability.What has it become now?For working married men it has become sheer hell.The rich and influential are still ok however because you still need them and they go along thinking this will last forever but it won't.
You are creating a kind of reverse islam in your society,you may not be able to see it but if you can, then ,that makes your movement on a par with some of the most oppressive societies on
earth.
I think feminism has to hope that there really is no god because if there is you're going to have some
thing real to whine about.
I agree with you about these feminist men,these people hate everybody and try to use women to get in their pants while destroying worthwhile relationships.This has been the case since the start of time.
Both men and women do some rotten things and you should be trying to make things better,not 10 times worse ,as is happening now.

[Janet Wolfman]

My advice on all this is RAM DASS' advice BE HERE NOW Funny or not, it's an ongoing process. Do you thnk I figured it out? Not on yer life my friend

[Vlad82]

Are you nuts, guys? I don` t encourage misoginism, but, if there are no fuckin differences betw men and women, we can all cook, shave our legs and use BU not to stink... Do u cope... i wouldn`t... You` ve taken too much dope or you got kicked by you r colleagues in school too much and never fought back... At least gay men seek refuge in men, too... I might sound idiot but you overrun me... sorry...

[paul]

Very easy to judge men, atleast you are allowed to have opinion now. Be grateful for that.

Equality is between men and women is utopian as we are extremly different. You cant have equality and then expect a man to give up his seat on a busy train or expect the man to empty the trash, cause thats just somthing that women dont do.

Well im sure you do empty the trash but that is not my point. I love women that dont want to take the trash out and that expect a seat on the train. Real feminine ladies are rare these days. A good balance, not too stuck up and for example wouldnt go camping but still a lady.

My point is that women dont even know what they want, they want a man that is strong and in charge but yet sensitive and listens to their feelings. You want a man to want to open the door for you but then he must not do that cause he must treat you like an equal.

And for me ? a MAN ? 24 yrs old growing up in a world where more men check me out than women, bisexual, metrosexual, transexuals. All i want is a decent women.

But we are so psychologically damaged from an indoctrinated distorted view of what masculinity is and how we should treat women. Our dads if we had any, generations raised by their mothers, taught us to be the man of the house as their dads taught them.

And now ? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US ?

[Tim P.]

My name is Tim and I am many things: a Taurus, a sociology student, a Vietnamese-American, a 20-year-old (21 soon)… But above all, I am a humanist, an environmentalist, an animal advocate, a son, a brother, a friend, and perhaps a feminist. As a vegan, I have to be tactful. To be a feminist, I need to be even more tactful, which why I don't go around calling myself a feminist, and which is probably why I don't get flamed by women and men for exposing some of my feminist/ecofeminist ideologies, at least not anymore. I've sacrificed a lot of friends and happiness BECAUSE of my ideals, and to say that I'm using those ideals as a tool to get what I want is untrue and hurtful, albeit the article was meant to be comedic. If I truly did have hidden motives and my strategy didn't work, shouldn't I use a different strategy? I'm not, because I don't have a hidden motive and would rather have no life than to sacrifice my values and beliefs, which is that women, people of color, animals, etc. deserve to live a normal, happy, meaningful, and dignified life.

My women's studies professor already knew about this article before I told her about it, which just goes to show how popular this article is. I know the article wasn't meant to be literal, but the provocative nature of the subject makes it susceptible to prejudice and misinterpretation and will simply antagonize males, and maybe females, and we can't afford that.

[Tim P.]

To further elaborate, I donate money to the National Organization for Women, collect signatures on the behalf of women and animals, practice freeganism as so to reduce my participation in this corrupt patriarchal economic system, and so on, and most people don't know this of me. Do you see me getting all the friends and girls? Do I hear a thank you? No, I'm a loner and many of the girls go for the chauvinistic guys, and the guys go for the girliest girl, and they start having anal, oral, genital, and unprotected sex while eating big macs, ice cream, and fried chicken. Why am I doing what I'm doing then? Because a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, a step of compassion towards a better tomorrow.

[pooter]

Real men don't call themselves feminists, so why does any of this behavior surprise you? (Real Jews don't refer to themselves as Nazis, either.)

[Andrea]

Yes, Feminist men are Morons. After one of them REALLY ticked me off, was a phony liar, and bugged me beyong belief, I wrote this message to them! Let me know what you think:

Pro feminazi man, how is your membership in the KLU KLUK KLAN going?? Did you lynch enough men in bars, and you did continue to burn a cross in a man’s lawn?? And you cannot be “nice and caring”, and say what you just said in your post, You FUCKING HYPOCRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Die, PiG, DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU NASTY PIECE OF SHIT NAZI FACIST SUPREMACIST FILTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU WILL DIE IN A BODYBAG IN WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU WILL BE EXECUTED FOR WAR CRIMES AT DAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE UNBELIEVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THERE WILL BE NO WAY OUT FOR YOU FACIST MURDEROUS PIGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU WILL BOMBED INTO EXTINCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RAGE IN THE CAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!VIVA REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WE REVOLUTIONARIES WIll DESTROY YOU, WITH SEMI_AUTOMATICS, BOMBS, CHAIRS!!!!!!!!!PUKE YOUR GUTS OUT, VIOLENT PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WE DESTROYED PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN NUEREMBERG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOUR DAY OF JUDGEMENT IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ETERNAL DAMNNATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK YOU!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[chris lee]

What's the diff between "feminist" and "humanist" the real dictatorship is the dictatorship of species survival, of which the genders are two halves of a necessary whole.

[chris lee]

What's the diff between "feminist" and "humanist"? The real dictatorship is the survival of the species , the absolute state-for which the two genders are inter-dependent halves of the same whole.

[cl]

Wow, this really hit close to home here, had a complete breakdown after reading this, realizing that I might be (turning into) one of those men. Thanks for the eyeopener.

[Carl]

I'd say I'm a pro-feminist and I think this whole article is a bunch of whiny drivel about how much you dislike assholes. Maybe you've honed in on the lengths assholes go to try to fool women into giving them sex or even just to feel like women think they're smart and a good person, but guess what, that's what assholes do. They lie to get ahead. The issue I see raised here, but not expressed in your article, is how assholes are now using the internet as a medium for their lying.

I also think you using the internet to complain about this is just as bad.

Oh and I think your conclusion was horrible because it didn't really hit the nail, you just kind of apologized the pro-feminists who aren't assholes without actually apologizing, and didn't really offer an action to take against the assholes.

To think I actually stumbled upon this article after google searching "Feminist Men" so I could find a radical feminist action I could do, as a man, for my Women's Studies class.

[Michelle]

Pro feminazi whores, how is your membership in the KLU KLUK KLAN going?? Spread your GODDAMN LEGS, AND TAKE A BROOMSTICK, OR A COCK UP YOUR ASS, YOU CUNT WHORE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK ME HARD NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Did you lynch enough men in bars, and you did only burn a cross in a man’s lawn?? And you cannot be “nice and caring”, and say what you just said in your post, You FUCKING HYPOCRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Die, PiG, DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU NASTY PIECE OF SHIT NAZI FACIST SUPREMACIST FILTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU WILL DIE IN A BODYBAG IN WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU WILL BE EXECUTED FOR WAR CRIMES AT DAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE UNBELIEVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THERE WILL BE NO WAY OUT FOR YOU FACIST MURDEROUS PIGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU WILL BOMBED INTO EXTINCTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RAGE IN THE CAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!VIVA REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WE REVOLUTIONARIES WIll DESTROY YOU, WITH SEMI_AUTOMATICS, BOMBS, CHAIRS!!!!!!!!!PUKE YOUR GUTS OUT, VIOLENT PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WE DESTROYED PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN NUEREMBERG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOUR DAY OF JUDGEMENT IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ETERNAL DAMNNATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK YOU!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Janice]

Actually, my membership in the Klu Klux Klan isn't going very well. They never have a kosher option at any of the dinners.

[Andrea]

[More bizarre bullshit from 12-year-olds]

[Janice]

...aaaaand this is where I start deleting comments and blocking IP addresses.

[Charlotte]

Yes, the feminist men I've met, fit your discription entirely. especially the porn addiction. Most of them are nuts.

[Charlotte]

Yes, the feminist men I've met, fit your discription entirely. especially the porn addiction. Most of them are nuts.

[Scott]

Most men who call themselves feminists are just trying a different way to get laid, the others are just pathetic whiners.

No real man is a feminist. Period.

[Carrie]

Yeah, the Feminist men I know are crazy, and are way into porn. They do drive me nuts. Oh well....

[prometheuspan]

lol. I feel your pain. I'm a male feminist and its hard
to find high calibre company. As with a lot of things in the USA feminism went downhill when it became a gimmick and a means to the end of placating women in order to dominate them more subtly.

All problems are inter related and i hope that the folks here will come on over and help me to launch my new BBS. I'm feminist and working on real world problem
solving process for all of our serious real world problems. Some men have claimed women don't have the
focus or the brains to dive into solving such problems-
I hope that you folks will prove them wrong.
-------------

greetings!. I am an admin on a new politics board with the purpose of operating as a thikn tank. I seem to have spoiled some
of my popularity by standing up for womens rights. I thought about that and decided the smart thing to do would be to invite
over a bunch of feminists.

http://mytalktoday.com/solutions/index.php?sid=57b8a505ff54411cf0f94cfa7a6a081c

http://mytalktoday.com/solutions/viewforum.php?f=36&sid=57b8a505ff54411cf0f94cfa7a6a081c

I'd really appreciate help getting this board and this particular sub forum kicked off and such.
There are a lot of gender and human sexuality issues i have yet to touch on. Plus i'd like to see a feminist approach to
solving problems with the many other sub forums we have.

Please excuse me for advertising. I suppose the non advertising topic is politics and gender equality and balance in
problem solving and working on real world solutions to problems from the female/ compassion/ love/ yin/ side of the force.

[prometheuspan]

lol. I feel your pain. I'm a male feminist and its hard
to find high calibre company. As with a lot of things in the USA feminism went downhill when it became a gimmick and a means to the end of placating women in order to dominate them more subtly.

All problems are inter related and i hope that the folks here will come on over and help me to launch my new BBS. I'm feminist and working on real world problem
solving process for all of our serious real world problems. Some men have claimed women don't have the
focus or the brains to dive into solving such problems-
I hope that you folks will prove them wrong.
-------------

greetings!. I am an admin on a new politics board with the purpose of operating as a thikn tank. I seem to have spoiled some
of my popularity by standing up for womens rights. I thought about that and decided the smart thing to do would be to invite
over a bunch of feminists.

http://mytalktoday.com/solutions/index.php?sid=57b8a505ff54411cf0f94cfa7a6a081c

http://mytalktoday.com/solutions/viewforum.php?f=36&sid=57b8a505ff54411cf0f94cfa7a6a081c

I'd really appreciate help getting this board and this particular sub forum kicked off and such.
There are a lot of gender and human sexuality issues i have yet to touch on. Plus i'd like to see a feminist approach to
solving problems with the many other sub forums we have.

Please excuse me for advertising. I suppose the non advertising topic is politics and gender equality and balance in
problem solving and working on real world solutions to problems from the female/ compassion/ love/ yin/ side of the force.

[Penpals]

Was just surfing the web and I came across you site and I have to say that I am greatly impressed. Thank-you!

[Rachel]

So, I have definitely known some creepy, phony, 'pro-women' types, but I would like to say that a guy who will talk openly about preferring natural looking women or likes to identify as feminist because he believes in gender equality will only do good for the world and the cause. It can't be a girls only club. Clueless men need to see the ones with a clue in action. I agree, we should be on the look out for wolves in sheep's clothing, but in both genders!

[D'Arcy]

I think the real point of this whole thing is that people of all genders and beliefs can be assholes. I didn't find a single thing funny about this post. It's just insulting. Some guys are douches... some women are douches.... holy fuck that's funny!

[Anonymous]

Not allowing people into an anti-sexism movement because of their sex? Yeah, makes a lot of sense. Why didn't I think of that?

Seriously, I'm a man, and I support women's rights and equality. But, men are forced by society and people like you to treat women like objects and not people. It's like you want and don't want equality at the same time: if you don't want to convince the other side to support you (in fact, you want them to oppose you), what will you do?

[Liza]

I had one of these. Prominent in his library were books on the invisible economy, and women's and minority's unpaid unacknowledged labour, and onn Third World capitalist oppression.
I believed the Sensitive New Age Guy speech on offer. Living with him was a different story. He was a manipulative, passive-aggressive mooch who turned out to be very good at living off of other people. Turned his nose up at income-earning ("money-grubbing" was too dirty for him) and housework ("bourgeois values", he always had better things to do). Remember that Marx never held a solid job. I doubt he pitched in around the house either.

[I'm Annon.]

Nice post, i agree in almost everything but i really don't catch the point of the example number 3, i have been in many feminist NGOs and also in the academic world in many gender and feminist studies programs and i must say that it's a fact, no matter if u are marxist or whatever label u want to use, that there is not too much action in taking radical step to at lease stop taking advantage of a large numbers of injustice situations that we benefit from, in fact i think that it's hard to find people that actually believes that another kind of life it's possible (i mean a "fair" one). Anyway, cool writing!

Bye

Mr. I'm more marxist, feminist, radical, and even, more woman that you.

[Men Over 50]

I read your blog and I love it, It's totally true!!
Thank you very much for open my eyes.

[Tom Douglas]

As a (gay) man, I'd have to say your article sounds pretty bitter. I was around in the '70s and fully supported the ERA (and "womens lib" in general, much to the horror of my step father), and can say that I support it still. There's nothing sexual in the support ... just the feeling that we're all human and who really gives a shit what we sport below the waist?

I'm a soldier ( Combat Engineer ) and we have only recently allowed females into our ranks, yet one has already earned a very prestigious award within it. All the better ... I can remember years ago when I urged support for females on the front line (tho most of the females I knew weren't quite so thrilled about it lol).

It's not always about perverts ... there are those of us who simply view females as part of the same species and don't understand social stereotypes too well. In other words, we're (males) not all evil :->

[Jeffrey Thomas Piercy]

I'm a man who considers himself a feminist (instead of "pro-feminist", for instance). I admit to having a gut reaction once or twice while reading this that I was being attacked. But to other men who read this (and there seems to be a steady stream, judging by the comments), I suggest that rather than rejecting the criticism or proving that it doesn't apply to you, that you and I both take it to heart and be better feminists for it.

[Smiling]

I liked your examples, thanks for that interesting information.

[TMJ]

These feminist morons are different compared with nice guys who understand the women.

[Perfect Smile]

Why hate men or women?, we are human after so that discussion is meaningless for a person who wants a better world.

[Impotence Treatment]

Both tendences are dangerous is better try to build a better instead of insult each other.

[Buy Viagra]

your is as bitter as funny in equal parts.

[Advice For Men]

The sole fact of expose the own ideology is a pure stupidity

[Cheap Meds]

feminist men are only a bunch of pour loosers

[Cheap Online Pharmacy]

Male Feminism sounds very interesting, is time that men stop believing they are the center of the universe

[Buy Generic Viagra]

theres to types of feminism : the stupid and the reasonable ... the first is the one of these morons.

[Viagra Without Prescription]

Nice examples, I really enjoyed reading your blog!

[Canada Online Drugs]

hey why you keep fighting for this, simply live and let live.

[Symptoms of STD]

Porn lovers belong to a different class of idiot. watch out.

[Autumn Mist Out Fitters]

but what can you say about women who support some stupid men's behaviors like cavalry ??

[June’s son]

As a man will I be shunned if I want to join a feminist group. It is like the tables have turned. Feminist are sexist, elitist trying to do back what men have done to
them for generations.

I am also a Cree man that lives in a matriarch society. This does not mean that women have all the power but that we equally make decision as a team that are good for the community. I take your discourse as sexist and without validation. Frustrates me that people (male or female) are still basing themselves on ignorance. I am not evolved I am just respectful. And I would ask the same of all people.

To a certain extent it is as if you are saying that it
is OK to dislike someone for their beliefs and categorizing them. Well if that is the case the feminist movement you are part of is nothing different
then the KKKorporation you talk about.

I love women physically, emotionally and mentally. Is that not OK. It is as if you are saying that men should not be sensitive to a women wants and needs. Ok then, next time I will just assume the role of the typical male. ’’GO TEAM GO’’ while scathing my balls and then sniffing my fingers.

PS I live in a family of 3 generations of feminist,
not frustrated people looking to vent at every corner.

[Joe Schmoe]

Wow, another sexist attack on the male from a pro-equality feminist.

I just got done studying for a final for a REQUIRED feminist course. I've never seen such blatant lying in the form of manipulated statistics. If I were to highly the inconsistencies and errors of statistical math in one random page alone it would fill the page red.

I'd say the book was 90% lies.

YOU feminists are the worse kind of liars, like Nazi's believed their lies, you believe yours.

Well, you are wrong. You are man-hating, lying, manipulative and for the most part, evil, in that what you say you want, is not at all what you expect and ALWAYS try to end up with the rich, tall, dominate male, which is basically what you were 200 years ago.

This movement WILL be shown for the lie that it is.

I'm glad women have equal rights and etc. I REALLY am, but seriously, just shut the fuck up already!

[Meeguel]

I got here by mistake, cuz I'm sick of porn (with porn?). I typed "I hate porn" and this came up. I'm curious about all things girly, but man chicks are weird... lol.
Anywho, enjoy your bitterness

[Morgan Griffin]

Thank you for writing this. I just finished reading your memoir girlbomb and decided to google you. Thank goodness. My most recent ex-boyfriend was a proclaimed feminist. He supported and attended my recent performance in the Vagina Monologues, and the other benefit shows we held in honor of V-day. He talked to his friends about his feminist ideas in front of me. When I found out he watched porn and confronted him about it, cited why it was degrading to women, he agreed to stop and he did. It all seemed great. Too good to be true, and it was.

About a week ago his temper stared flaring up. He would yell at me call me demeaning names. He threw the canvas painting I made for him for Valentine's Day at me. He told me that my depression caused his anger his. On another occasion he tried to kick me out of his apartment without my belongings, when I finally got them he wouldn't let me leave. He accused me of cheating, various times. He went through my phone, my facebook, and e-mail the whole time we dated without my permission. I left him. He was abusive. He claimed to be a feminist, then he emotional and verbally abused me.

[Edwards Robert]

I am a man who does not pretend to be a feminist nor do I state that I am one, however I think that everyone should not be treated the same they should be treated as they wish to be treated which is evident by how they act. As an end-all everyone is equal in two aspects 1) we all die someday and 2) we are all crazy.

[foreplay techniques]

He told me that my depression caused his anger his. On another occasion he tried to kick me out of his apartment without my belongings, when I finally got them he wouldn't let me leave. He accused me of cheating, various times. He went through my phone, my facebook, and e-mail the whole time we dated without my permission. I left him. He was abusive. He claimed to be a feminist, then he emotional and verbally abused me.

[thepedantical]

Any man who claims to be a feminist just wants to be rewarded with sex.

[Argyle]

Haha, I love comments that are 4 years late. This is still one of my favorite articles though, partially because I agree, and partially because I hate feminism and think it's a phucking waste of time. Now we need an article bashing female feminists.

[Glass Dildo]

I almost liked the comments better than the article lol.

[Sara]

THIS IS SO TRUE! You are awesome and your work keeps getting better.

[Shane SInha]

I find this very offensive to men in general i wouldn't call myself a feminist and i admit i like women. though its kinda fucked your saying the majority of men just wanna fuck the next girl with big tits or an ass. I myself want to have an emotional relationship and find some solace with a partner. I find this offensive to the rest of us sensitive non-feminist men.