Under Pressure

So, things are happening.

Aren't you glad I clarified that? Because some of you might have been thinking, "I wonder if there really is a communal objective physical reality in which matter is affected by energy, and vice versa." And now I'm confirming it. Yes. Things are happening. It's not all in your head, even though it totally is. I got that from the Tao te Ching.

Yep, things are happening! People are blowing other people up in Iraq! And it's not even us this time. Bird flu has hit Europe, and even if it doesn't wind up killing all of us useless people, it's killing a shitload of birds. Everybody's got to piss on everybody else's Christ, and then get together and decide to kill each other over it. Also, George Bush does not care about black people.

But of course, those aren't the "happening things" I'm talking about. I'm talking about the "things" that are happening to me. Things like revelations, and interviews. And panic attacks, and identity crises. My mind has just been so blown over the past few weeks, past few months, past year and a half, past life; I'm disoriented. I'm disorientated, even. That's how bad it is. I'm putting extra syllables in things. Syllilables. Somebody very smart and funny said I sound "halfway between a debutante and a basket case," which is pretty fucking apt, all in all -- maybe I should ask him if he'll ghostwrite for me.

Because I was supposed to be at the writer's room already. I lost all of last week to this other deadline and administrative stuff, and I'm behind. Frankly, I'm scared. Having run this marathon before, I realize how fucking long and hard every inch of it is. I already wrote a book, now I have to write another one? I'm an idiot for signing on for this. And this BLOGGING shit just eats up time and energy, and I'm still not satisfied with it -- I never write about feminism anymore, I barely even have time to read Broadsheet and Feministing. All I do is complain about my admittedly excellent life. I can't even complain about half the shit I want to anymore! And when you take away my ability to complain, you take away something fundamentally precious to me -- my hope that, one day, if only I itemize and explain them in detail, all of my very legitimate and easy-to-fix complaints will be resolved.

Today's complaints:

Don't want to go to work.
Blogging is meh.
War.

Comments

[amy]

Listen, I blog about sports and Dancing with the Stars. You're fine. Take some deep breaths.

[Éireann]

I had a psychotic dream the other night in which you had a baby. And you were very concerned about the baby and you couldn't do anything but take care of the baby. So at least that is not happening.

I was also hiding from the Nazis in a very large tent made of tulle, though, so I wouldn't pay much attention to me.

Blogs are about recording *your* everyday experiences through *your* eyes. Everything you say here is feminist. Because you're a feminist. Just because you're not blogging about it doesn't mean you're not conscious of it, and the fact that you ARE conscious of it doesn't mean you have to blog about it. Use your blog for some respite from the psychoticness of your life. Blog about The Bachelor in Paris. I know you watch it. I KNOW YOU WATCH IT, JANICE.

[girlbomb]

You know what's so, so sad? We can't watch either The Bachelor OR Dancing With the Stars, because ABC comes in so crappy at our house, because of our shitty old apartment wiring that won't support digital cable. Fuck Pakistani quake victims -- someone should hold us a telethon.

[Éireann]

I could not. Physically. COULD NOT. LIVE WITHOUT ABC. I am addicted to just about every show ON there. The only things I watch NOT on ABC are The OC, which I've only watched for this season and besides, now Dancing With the Stars is like 1.5 hours long and cuts into it, so we don't watch it anymore...and Gilmore Girls. On ABC, honestly. Hm. Let's count, shall we? Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, The Bachelor, Dancing With the Stars, Alias, Wifeswap, Supernanny, and Freddie. It's really, really sad. REALLY REALLY sad how I only get through my days by anticipating whatever television show is going to be on that night. And you know you can always BITTORRENT THE EPISODES, RIGHT? There is no excuse for not watching the horror that is The Bachelor. Which we just started watching because EVERYONE BLOGS ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME so it's like...the LAW OF THE BLOGGERS.

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE IT.

/nerd

[Éireann]

Oh, oh wait! And then there's cable! I watch The Daily Show and the word on the Colbert Report and Boondocks, of course. And Spongebob Squarepants.

I am such a well-rouded American.

American't?