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Listen, I blog about sports and Dancing with the Stars. You're fine. Take some deep breaths.

I had a psychotic dream the other night in which you had a baby. And you were very concerned about the baby and you couldn't do anything but take care of the baby. So at least that is not happening.

I was also hiding from the Nazis in a very large tent made of tulle, though, so I wouldn't pay much attention to me.

Blogs are about recording *your* everyday experiences through *your* eyes. Everything you say here is feminist. Because you're a feminist. Just because you're not blogging about it doesn't mean you're not conscious of it, and the fact that you ARE conscious of it doesn't mean you have to blog about it. Use your blog for some respite from the psychoticness of your life. Blog about The Bachelor in Paris. I know you watch it. I KNOW YOU WATCH IT, JANICE.

You know what's so, so sad? We can't watch either The Bachelor OR Dancing With the Stars, because ABC comes in so crappy at our house, because of our shitty old apartment wiring that won't support digital cable. Fuck Pakistani quake victims -- someone should hold us a telethon.

I could not. Physically. COULD NOT. LIVE WITHOUT ABC. I am addicted to just about every show ON there. The only things I watch NOT on ABC are The OC, which I've only watched for this season and besides, now Dancing With the Stars is like 1.5 hours long and cuts into it, so we don't watch it anymore...and Gilmore Girls. On ABC, honestly. Hm. Let's count, shall we? Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, The Bachelor, Dancing With the Stars, Alias, Wifeswap, Supernanny, and Freddie. It's really, really sad. REALLY REALLY sad how I only get through my days by anticipating whatever television show is going to be on that night. And you know you can always BITTORRENT THE EPISODES, RIGHT? There is no excuse for not watching the horror that is The Bachelor. Which we just started watching because EVERYONE BLOGS ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME so it's like...the LAW OF THE BLOGGERS.



Oh, oh wait! And then there's cable! I watch The Daily Show and the word on the Colbert Report and Boondocks, of course. And Spongebob Squarepants.

I am such a well-rouded American.


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