This is an anecdote from November, I think. I was at a party for a friend, and I saw someone I know, someone who put out a book last year. We started to chat. Out of generalized social anxiety and lack of anything else to say, I asked a question I don't much like to be asked, especially at parties: "So, are you working on another book?"
"Nope," he said, grinning. He bent at the knees and made a sweeping motion, an umpire calling an out. "That's it, I'm done."
I gaped at him, awed. What a perfect answer, and with what glee he delivered it. No, I'm not writing another book. I already wrote a book. Leave me alone, I'm tired.
"That's brilliant," I said. "I'm going to start saying that too. 'Nope, I'm not writing another book. Just reread the two I already wrote.'"
"Exactly," he said. "'You want another book, go write your own.'"
"I know that people mean well when they ask," I demurred. "I meant well when I asked you."
He laughed. "No you didn't."
Well, I thought I meant well. Turns out I don't know what I meant. But I know what he meant. The minute you get something on the shelves, everyone says, "Oh great! Ten or twenty years of your life, concentrated into book form! So, what else you got?" Like, "All right, so you managed to write a book once, twice maybe, but can you do it again, anytime you want, on command? Right away?"
This must be how men feel after sex.
So, inspired by my acquaintance, my new answer to the dreaded question is NO. I'm not working on another book. Unless you mean the book of crossword puzzles next to the toilet. In which case, I'm really close to finishing it. Two, three poops at most. I'll let you know when it's done!
Does this mean we have to ask you when you and Bill are going to have a baby? I mean, what intrusively inappropriate questions are left?
When Rob's brother announced he was engaged and breathed a huge sigh of relief because I knew people would stop asking him when he would ask me to marry him. I told Rob "We have at least until the first anniversary to enjoy ourselves."
Lucky for us, they announced they were pregnant just around their first anniversary. Ha! Another six months of freedom and then a year after the baby was born.
They stopped having babies. Rob and I got married. thankfully, I'm too old to make babies so people don't bother asking.
The question I get asked a lot: Do your children all have the same mother?
I always want to say, "Yes but not the same grandparents." I figure that should confuse people. And really, if you don't know me well enough to know the answer to that then it's none of your damn business but boy do I feel old when I wonder . . . when did this become a typical question to ask a woman who has more than one child?
Really? WTF?
Posted by: Satia | Feb 01, 2011 at 05:17 PM
Ha.
We just love you.
Posted by: MyTwoLines | Feb 01, 2011 at 09:16 PM
"You want another book, go write your own." Priceless!
Posted by: amy f. | Feb 06, 2011 at 09:07 AM